According to my parents, when I was just a small fry, I never really got in to any trouble. Dad says that in the rare case that I ever slightly acted out, all he had to do was give me “the look” and I’d start to cry. Now, as I got older, I’ll be the first to admit that I gave the parental unit a couple sleepless nights but for the most part, I was always too afraid of getting in trouble to do anything really bad. So, it’s not that I have a problem with following the rules….so long as they’re easy to follow. See, that’s the kicker right there. I’ve been reading out of The Power of a Praying Woman for the past month or so and this week has been directed towards obedience. When I saw the chapter title, I didn’t think much of it. Like I said, I’ve never really had a hard time following simple rules. I never broke curfew as a teenager. I always checked in with Mom and Dad. I never talked to strangers as a little kid. All of these rules were simple. But as I’ve been reading about obedience this week, I’ve been reminded of how incredibly difficult it is for me to be obedient in all areas of my life. I’m just being real with ya’ll. As many of you know, back in January I resolved to give up dating, thinking about dating, dreaming about dating, anything to do with dating for six months. Well, let’s just be real. I’ve sucked at keeping my end of the deal. I haven’t dated at all, but the opportunity also has presented itself. But boy have I sure stressed over it. I’ve thought about it constantly, totally opposite of what I said I was going to do, which was place my future in the hands of God. I know that God has plans for me, and not just any ‘ol plans. They’re bigger than what I could ever dream. He is preparing me for my future right now. BUT-and this is the hard part-I have to be obedient RIGHT now in order to get to that destiny that He is preparing for me. And even harder, I have to trust that He knows the way and He won’t allow me to get hurt in the process (Stormie O’Martian). When I committed to no dating, it was for one reason and one reason only: I wanted six months of total surrender and devotion to falling more in love with my First Love. I’m not doing this just so that God will bless me with a tall, dark headed cowboy. I have one agenda and that is to grow in my relationship with Christ. But in my humanness, I’ve failed miserably at trusting Him. I’ve been afraid that if I’m not at least “looking” (not necessarily dating), then I’ll never find The One. Like I told Christin, I stepped on to the treadmill but I’ve yet to turn it on and start walking, let alone running. How will I see improvement or transformation if I’m just standing there? I have to remember that when I made this commitment, it was because I genuinely felt like it was what God was asking of me at the time. And for some girls, it may not seem like a big deal at all. Six months of no dating might be a piece of cake for some. But for me, it’s hard. I’m just being real. I have to remember, though, that when I obey, I have clarity. When I don’t, I have confusion. He already sees my heart and He knows what I want, but most importantly, He knows what I need and this six months is such an incredible opportunity to draw closer to Him. When an athlete has an event they are competing in, they don’t just train for one or two days before the competition. Well, not if they want good results anyway. They train for months, sometimes years, so that when the time comes, they are at their best. And for most, it’s a lifestyle, not just something they do for six months, compete, and then quit. So as I walk this six month journey, I pray that living an obedient life and trusting that God always has my best interest in mind will be more than just a six month journey. I pray that it is something I live by daily, well after June 1, 2013 has passed.
You never know when you will step into the moment God has been preparing you for.
Goodnight, my lovelies. ~Rach