It’s the eighth day of January, the eighth day of the year. So far, I’ve had pizza three nights, chicken pot pie two of the eight, and the other evenings I’m sure were no better. The fact that I can’t remember probably means I’ve purposely blocked them out of my mind because if you forget it happened then it really didn’t happen…..right? Uh hum. Anyway. I’m about to get really real. I hope ya’ll are ready for this. And to be completely honest, I’m not sure what the rules are in this whole blogging thing. Like, how honest is too honest? I don’t know. I guess I don’t care, either. All I know is that when I put my life on blast, it helps create a sense of accountability because I know that I’m telling a whole lotta people my “biz-nasty,” which is also just another word for business. Don’t judge me. Sometimes I go gangster and I can’t help it.
Anyway. I never really make resolutions because I never keep them. So what I’m about to say shouldn’t be mistaken for New Year’s resolutions. That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.
1. I gotta stop drinking pop, ya’ll. I did so good this summer. I went several months without drinking it and I felt really good. I have a diet Mt. Dew sitting right next to me as I type and I’m saddened thinking that this is going to be my last. Well, it needs to be my last, anyway. It has to be (hold on, I need to take one more swig of that sweet Nectar of Life……ok I’m back). It’s sooooo good. But it’s so bad. So starting today, on this eighth day of January, I’m done.
2. No more pizza. No more crap. When I’m eating healthy, I have more energy, my face is clearer. I just feel better. I know I can do it because I’ve done it before. But I’m like most Americans who buy a ticket to ride the Roller Coaster of Bad Eating Habits. I might go a solid month eating healthy but one little nibble on a chocolate chip cookie and the next thing I know, that roller coaster plummets to the lowest part of the track. And it stays there for far too long. I go on a wild binge like it’s my last supper, except I binge eat at every meal. This has to stop. I’m done with losing ten pounds, gaining five, losing three, gaining five, losing 12, etc. I’m stepping off the roller coaster today!
3. Procrastinating. I’m the worst. I think I work best under pressure therefore I wait until the very last second to get things done. I’ve used the excuse of “working best under pressure” for a really long time and it kinda needs to stop. I pride myself in being able to pull together a presentation or lesson plan in a very short amount of time where my colleagues may have spent days or even weeks putting theirs’ together. It’s really not an “accomplishment” I should be proud of because, let’s be real, how prepared am I really when I throw something together in such little time? If I want to bring my best to the table, I need to cut the crap and stop being lazy about everything and just get my act together. I don’t ever have a problem with meeting a deadline. That’s never been the issue. In fact, when it comes to planning for a social event or when I’m entertaining in my home, preparation starts early. BUT I need to devote just as much time and energy (or more) in to the things that matter the most. So, no more pulling all nighters the evening before something is due. This is my last semester of classes and I’m gonna make it the best.
4. I don’t even want to type this. Here goes. Christin and I have committed to running the half marathon at the Joplin Memorial Run in May. I have a confession. I haven’t run more than two or three times since our 15k which was in…………..I can’t believe I’m admitting this……..October. All I’ve done this entire winter is hibernate. Basically, I ate a bunch of crap food then laid around in elastic waisted pants that grew with me for like two months. So, Christin and I having started the training process. And as much as I know I enjoy running once I get started again, I’m having a really hard time getting back in the swing of things.
5. Dating. Do I dare mention dating? EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeek. Short and sweet–I’m not dating, thinking about dating, dreaming about dating, talking about dating, looking in to dating, blogging about dating, NOTHING about dating for at least six months. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Don’t even go there. Bottom line is this: I’m gonna be really vulnerable and just admit that I spend way too much time obsessing over whether or not I’ll ever find Mr. Right. I’m 26, basically one foot in the grave, and I worry quite a bit about turning in to a Cat Lady or an Old Maid. It’s time to get my priorities straight, though. I wrote about this not too long ago, a longing for intimacy. And I want this longing within me to be for one person only, Jesus Christ. Because when He’s the center of my world, that’s when everything else around me falls in to place. So. Don’t ask me on a date till at least June. Don’t even think about it.
6. I’ve saved the best for last. And boy, is it a doozy. My attitude. I could stop right there and just leave it be, but what’s the fun in that?!?! I’m usually a pretty happy-go-lucky kinda gal. But I’m also a fiery little thang. I typically see the glass as half full but there are times when all I wanna do is throw that glass, half full or half empty–I don’t care, right smack dab in the face of the nearest person. I have a hard time letting go of things/people/situations. I don’t like change. I don’t like not knowing. It puts me in a funk. That being said, I just wrote a prayer on my mirror a few nights ago that said something along the lines of this: “Lord, I’m sorry for grumbling about the place that I’m in. I know my attitude has a direct impact on my future and on whether or not I wander around in circles in the desert or enter in to the Promise Land that you have waiting for me. So, please help me to just be patient and to have a good attitude.” Christin sent this verse to me this morning: Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Have I mentioned that Christin is the best friend on planet Earth? Cause she is!). No matter where I’m at in life, on top of the mountain or in the valley, nothing really compares to what God has in store for me and I’m always responsible for my attitude, during the highs AND the lows.
So, there ya have it. I’m gonna try real hard to be better. I’m being realistic, meaning, I know I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna fall down. But that’s only a bad thing when you choose to stay down. So……..here’s hopin’!
Ya’ll cross your fingers for me! ~Rach