There’s A Wall

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First off, if ya’ll don’t know my amazing, ridiculous, hilarious, hyper, Sheriff of YOLO County friend, John, you’re missing out. He has to be the funniest person I know. Hands down. There isn’t a moment that we’re together that we aren’t laughing. And if we’re not laughing, we’re singing. The second we get in the car, the Miranda Lambert sound tracks start playing and our car concerts begin. John has the best voice I’ve ever heard. We’ve been practicing up on some Miranda songs that we are going to do for karaoke next week and we’ve got it down to our top three favorites: Bring Me Down, Better in the Long Run, and There’s A Wall. So all that to say this: I’ve gotten really acquainted with the lyrics to these songs. I love music. I love all the different parts of music, from the various instruments to the vocals, to the lyrics that often times have a huge impact on me. And Country music really has a powerful way of speaking to my heart.

In Miranda’s song, There’s A Wall, it talks about a girl who clearly is in love with a man that is afraid to love her back, hence the title of the song. The first verse talks about how she’d run away but she can’t escape the power of his pride. It goes on to talk about how his eyes are cold like an empty soul but that she’s burning up inside. Then the verse goes on to say that there’s a wall that’s standing between them and that wall is the ONLY thing keeping him from freedom. She’s trying so hard to tear those walls down but the harder she tries, the stronger he gets because he’s afraid that if the walls fall, he’ll fall, too. I love this song. I love it because I feel like I’ve lived out the entire song. The closer I got to him, the more fear I saw in his eyes. Fear that I would let him down. Fear that I would break his heart like the last girl had done to him. Fear that I would leave. Fear that I wasn’t the right one.

The second verse almost moves me to tears every time I hear it. You’re trying hard to hide those scars that I’ve already seen. Your beat up heart’s not the only thing that’s keeping you from me. And the bridge goes on to say that pain has made you weak and hard. I will never be as strong….as this wall that’s standing here between us.I saw his scars. He thought he did a good job at hiding them. But I saw them. And I saw his beat up heart, too. And it broke mine. It still does. It breaks my heart that he tries so hard on his own to mend it and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. In some weird way, it hurts to know that it isn’t my job to fix his heart.

This song makes me sad. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love it. But you know how sometimes a certain song will take you back to a specific memory in time or will remind you of a person that played some sort of role in your life? That’s what this song does to me. Every time I hear these words I think about how I wish I could take his pain away and let him see that the wall that he put up when he got hurt is the only thing that’s keeping him from freedom. I’m the type of girl that wants to just take care of her man. And even though he’s not my man, I cared about him and I was able to get close enough to his wall to know that it’s going to take more than my words or my actions, even, to convince him of this. It’s really hard to sit back and watch someone hurt, though. But in situations like this one, my words would only fall on deaf ears, so sitting back and watching is really my only option. I want to just take him by the shoulders and tell him that I know the answer to his problem and what he’s doing isn’t going to make it any better. The pain is only going to get stronger, the walls will only get taller, and I know this first hand. But, I also know that this was a hard lesson I had to learn on my own and it’s one he’ll have to learn on his own, as well. My hands are tied and it breaks my heart……………………

Click the link below to listen to There’s A Wall by Miranda Lambert:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_JhTxzrxnI

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