Monthly Archives: October 2012

Chasing Sunsets

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Some days my desire to get out of Southwest Missouri is so strong, I could just tear a phone book in half. At times I feel so limited. Spending time on the East Coast or even in Northwest Arkansas reminds me of just how many opportunities really do exist, opposed to my one horse town where climbing the water tower or trips to the spook light mean a night out on the town. But you know, I do love my little town and the sense of community that it offers and more than likely, it’s where I’ll always be. Not that I’m opposed to moving, I just don’t know where I’d go.
There are so many things that could play a role in where I end up. I suppose the only thing keeping me grounded in southwest Missouri is my family. And I do love my family deeply. That being said, I’d move tomorrow if the right opportunity came along. As long as I could take my nephew with me. 🙂
I guess I should just be thankful that my life is a simple one and the biggest decisions I’m usually faced with are choosing to run or sleep longer in the morning or wether or not I’ll be dieting or giving in to the Taco Bell peer pressure. I suppose I have a few larger decisions to make such as do I want to teach Middle School or will I be intimidated by their height? Or do I want to stick with something I know I’m good at, like being a big goof ball in front of 1st or 2nd graders who think my jokes are funny? Do I even want to teach? Some days I just wish that when my alarm went off, instead of stumbling to the coffee pot and making a single cup of coffee, I’d be getting up to brew a pot for my husband and me. And then we’d have our devotions and sip our coffee, talk about our plans for the day and then I’d kiss him goodbye for work before waking our babies. But instead, I brew myself a single cup and continue my morning routine of the single life. I’m beyond ready for change. But I do realize and accept that change will come in its perfect timing. All I know is that I was born to be a wife and a Momma. Fo sho!
On a completely different note, I’ve been listening to Christmas music for three days and I’m ready to get started on making my gifts for everyone in my family. I can’t wait to get crafty!! Also, I feel my hibernating tendencies coming on very strongly lately so if at any point someone decides to file a missing persons report on me, check my bed first!! I’ve developed a love for my down feather blanket that I didn’t know could exist. I think I ate too much salad for lunch because it suddenly feels as though the button on my pants could pop off at any given moment. Watch your eyes, you guys!
~Rach

Cognitive Impairment

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Delirium has set in. I don’t remember feeling this tired in my life. I’m probably exaggerating a little bit, but I’m so exhausted, I don’t know if I’m exaggerating or not. It would take too much brain power to make that kind of judgement. The past month has been non-stop for me. From getting sick on the East Coast, to my brother’s wedding, to studying and taking the Praxis, and then running a 15k yesterday, I feel like my body has began to shut down. And I’m at the stage of being tired that I can’t fall asleep, no matter how badly I want to take a nap. To say that I’m in a state of cognitive impairment is an understatement.

I ran my first 15k yesterday at the Tulsa Run with one of my best girl friends. Christin and I drove to Tulsa on Friday night and had a sleep over at her aunt Dana’s house then got up early Saturday morning to get ready for the race. I had a blast running with Christin but today I can’t move my hips, I have a pain behind both my knees, and I can’t put any pressure on my right foot. I may have to start looking into nursing homes. I wouldn’t be surprised if a 90 year old with broken hips could move faster than I’m moving right now.

As you all know, I love to watch bull riding. If I had to choose between bull riding and just about anything else, the choice is obvious. I’d pick bull riding. I met LJ Jenkins a couple weekends ago and I still haven’t washed the part of my arm that he touched. 45ed5v n m c s (Pardon the gibberish that was just typed. My dog wanted to say hi.) Anyway, back to bull riding. I’m really sad that Chris Shivers is retiring. He’s been riding for 20 years and the PBR is better off because he’s been a part of it. I just watched his last ride and he rode Smackdown, which is very fitting for Chris. It’s a sad, sad day for bull riding fans. I guess the silver lining in all of this is I can now devote all of my attention to LJ rather than having to divide it between him and Chris.

Speaking of running and bull riding, during my run yesterday, I had plenty of time to think. And this is what I thought: I want to marry a bull rider (or a man that enjoys the sport just as much as I do) and one who will run with me as well. And that about sums it up.

Have a great week, you guys!!

~Rach

Aside

According to my calculations, I’ve been alive for 9496.3 days. I kinda thought it had been longer, but I’ve also never been great with math so I can never fully trust my own judgement when it comes to numbers.

I had a wonderful birthday, thanks to all the wonderful people in my life. I started celebrating on Friday, three days before my birthday, and didn’t stop until the clock struck midnight on the eve of October 23. I loved waking up to all the text messages and Facebook posts wishing me a happy birthday, but my most favorite thing of the entire day was being able to get my nephew all ready for bed and rock him before he went to sleep. He makes my heart go pitter-pat and there’s not another person on this Earth that I love more.

Looking back on this year, I can’t help but be reminded of how God’s hand has been the one to orchestrate every single moment. This year was bittersweet. I lost two very special women to cancer, two women that played a HUGE role in me becoming who I am today. My aunt Roxanne and Lynda Langland are two ladies that will always, always, be dear to my heart. This birthday wasn’t the same without hearing my aunt Roxanne singing happy birthday to me. But in all of this, I know that God has used these difficult times to draw me closer to Him, to give me the opportunity to depend on Him.

This last year I was reminded how blessed I am with Godly women in my life. I love looking back and seeing how God strategically placed them in my life at just the right times. Christin, Paige, Sam, Lisa, Shontell……..these are women that I can share my devotions with and when I’m feeling like I just want to throw in the towel, I can call them and they remind me of God’s grace and His love and His patience with me. I never understood the importance of GODLY women in my life until this last year.

This past year I became a member of Racine Christian Church and I’ve never felt so at home in any church in my entire life. I leave there every Sunday feeling challenged and ready to apply the teaching to my life. I’ve seen the heart of Christ in the people there and I see the passion that my pastor has to reach people that are hurting. I look forward to going to church every week and before I started going again last November, I hadn’t been to church in over four years. I was nervous to say the least, but sticking it out and trusting that God had brought me there for a reason is one of the best choices I made all year. I’m so lucky to have such an awesome church!! And Mrs. Shirrel is the sweetest!!!!!!

I feel like this last year was a year of healing, a year of growth, a time to focus on ME and becoming better. While I feel like these are things I should always keep in the forefront of my mind, I can’t help but think that this year is going to be my year. Something big is going to happen. I have no idea what or when or how or why, but this is my year. And it may come in a small form, it may come in the form of a flashing, neon sign on Rangeline Road. Whatever it is, I feel like God has been preparing me, preparing my heart and soul for something incredible.

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes! Love ya!!

Rach

 

Nine Thousand Four Hundred Ninety Six Point Three

Fuh-get About It.

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I haven’t blogged in over a week. This basically means that a.) I’ve been busy, b.) I’ve been lazy, c.) nothing interesting has happened in my life, d.) my fingers fell off and I’m JUST now getting my prosthetics put on, or e.) it’s been a combination of a and b. But it’s whatev.
My brother got married this weekend. I cried a little bit. Not the ugly cry, though. I couldn’t risk having mascara run off in the pictures so I just bit my cheek really hard and held back the alligator tears. Then when it was over, the final picture had been snapped, and I was able to take all 14,000 bobby pins out of my hair (which btdub, were jammed so far in my head I had to use the jaws of life to take them out), I let myself really cry. I don’t know why I was so emotional about this brother getting married. I didn’t cry at Jeffery’s wedding. I’m assuming it was because Nathan is my baby brother. And it could have something to do with being the last sibling to be single. And by single I mean “single and ready to eat some Pringles.” Speaking of, last week I went on the biggest junk food binge of my life. But whatever. I love myself and I hate myself (five dollars to the first person to name what that line is from).
Oh, it’s my birthday in a couple days. I’ll be 26. So basically I’ve got one foot in the grave. I’m officially closer to 30 than 20. O.M.Gah. I was thinking about taking up quilting again. But I’m not sure I wanna make that kind of commitment again.
I love that all the little preschool boys are obsessed with cowboy boots and hats lately. It’s so cute. I love seeing them run around in their cowboy attire. It reminds me how much I wanna be a momma to a little cowboy.
I’ve laughed so hard the last few days. It’s funny how much laughter can do for a person. Not that I was down in the dumps or anything, just soooo busy with everything going on. And then I realized how lucky I am to have people in my life that make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe. I just hope they know CPR because sometimes I go in to upper-respiratory distress when I’m around them from laughing so hard. Laughter….it’s my favorite thing. It makes me just fuh-get about all the little things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
See ya on the flippity-flop, y’all!
Rach

A List of Childrens Names

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I’ve had a list of names that I love for my potential future children started since I was like 13. Of course the list has changed slightly as the years have come and gone, but for the most part, I’m pretty stuck in my ways when it comes to my list of names. For girls I like:
1. Olivia (Liv for short) Jane– this is after my my Mama, grandma, and cousin- Sandra Jane, Lillian Jane, and Tiffany Jane.
2. Elin (pronounced Ee-Lynn) Mary– this is after my aunt Roxanne Mary.
3. Allison Roxanne–obviously after my aunt Roxanne.
4. Caroline–I haven’t decided on a middle name. Suggestions?
5. Katherine (Kate for short)–after my cousin Katie.
6. Gwen–just because I love this name.
7. And the name my dad would absolutely pay money for me to use: Morgan Rae–after my grandpa, Ray Morgan.
For boys I like:
1. Colton Ray-after my grandpa, my dad, my brother, and my nephew. All have the middle name Ray.
2. Bain–this has such a rustic, western, feel to it. I can see having a son who rides bareback broncs named Bain.
3. Steele–same as above. I think it’s such a manly name. Can’t you just see him herding cattle on horseback with that name?
4. Benjamin Ray–after both my grandpas and dad, brother, and nephew. Benjamin is on my mom’s side, Ray is my dad’s side.

Anyway, I’m obviously not planning on having 11 children, two at the MOST, but these are my options for names. So maybe here in like 7-10 years you’ll see me with a baby named Liv on my hip. Or maybe you’ll find me barefoot in the kitchen, about to calve out a little rugrat named Steele. Until then, I’m gonna enjoy my nights of uninterrupted sleep and the occasional glass of wine.

Love,
The Unexpecting (I know that’s not a word) Rach

Point Man

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Sundays are still my favorite day. Mainly because my whole family comes to Mom and Dad’s for lunch and I love nothing more than being with my family on Sundays. The other days are nice, too, but there’s something different, something special about Sunday afternoon at Mom and Dad’s. Football or golf on the TV, the smell of Mama’s home cooking filling my nostrils, the sound of my nephew’s laughter as Uncle Nate chases him around the house, the conversations, the laughs. It’s my favorite. Today, I was really excited about fried chicken. So excited, in fact, that I was eating so fast, a piece of chicken flew directly into my right eyeball and that, my friends, is not fun. Also, this has nothing to do with what I’m about to say, but I thought it was information you needed to know. I’m glad we had this talk.

Anyway. It should come as no surprise when I say that two of my biggest desires in life are to be a wife and a mother. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting these things and for asking God to bring them to me in His timing because I’m sure there are other things that I could be asking God for, like wisdom and patience and love for others. But, it’s true. I pray every day for the man that God created for me, even though we’ve never met. I pray for my babies that I’ve yet to bring in to this world. I pray for their health, for their minds, that they will always know how much I love them. And although I’ve never even laid eyes on them yet, I know that if I needed to, I’d lay down my own life for them. And for my husband-to-be, I pray that he has the heart of God and that he is doing all he needs to do to prepare himself to be the leader of our home.

I think it’s safe to say that a lot of girls make lists of “qualifications”, if you will, of things they require out of the man they date and ultimately marry. I made a list a long time ago, when I was like 14, but honestly, how did I even have a clue as to what was and was not important in a relationship when I was 14? I didn’t have the slightest. I think the qualifications were as follows: he needed to look like Leonardo DiCaprio, sing like Justin Timberlake, and have an accent like Matthew McConaughey. Never mind requiring he love me or provide for our family so long as he was a combination of those three men. Well, it’s 12 years later, and I must say, my list has changed quite a bit. The only thing that I would say made the cut is the Matthew McConaughey accent. Come on ladies, I know we’re all in agreement on this one.

Have you ever heard of a point man? I hadn’t until today. My pastor mentioned something about a point man at church today so I asked one of my best friends in all the world who just so happens to be in the Marine Corp to give me his definition of a point man. His words were: a point man is someone that takes lead in the patrol and the first one into the house when they raid it. The definition that my pastor gave was similar. He said its the person that goes ahead of everyone, making sure that the path is clear and safe for those behind him. While I was sitting there in church this morning, I got to thinking. There is nothing on my list as important as praying that my husband is our point man. If I don’t have a man that is willing to go before his family, preparing a way, making sure we are safe (spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc), then all the little things like being tall, dark, and handsome really don’t matter. I’ve got to have a man that is so devoted to being the leader of our home that he makes that his number one priority in life, above his work, above his hobbies, above everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t quite written off those other qualifications. I still want a tall cowboy with dark hair and eyes, and hard working hands. I want a man that will coach our kids in little league and who loves my cooking. Someone who makes me laugh!!!!!! I want a man that wears boots and a hat. I want a man that has land and cattle because those are two of my favorite things in all the world. The list goes on and on. BUT, they are all in vain if he’s not my point man above everything else.

Good night! ~Rach

A List…Because Lists Make Life Better

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I hate the feeling of coming home from vacation and being busier than when I left. Although I was in need of a mini-vaca, I will admit that had I known when I booked the flight just how busy I would be at the actual time of departure, I most certainly would not have gone. It was hard to let my mind rest while I was there because I kept thinking about how many things that needed done and the gigantic list that awaited me at home. Then I got sick…so the list that was waiting for me….is still waiting for me. So I’m going to write just one more list because lists…..well, to me, lists make my life complete.

1. I just drank the biggest glass of chocolate milk and ate a spoon full of peanut butter.

2. Will someone wire my jaw shut? Thank you.

3. I met with my design team tonight to brainstorm about our solar house project. So if anyone wants me to design a house for them, just let me know.

4. I just ate another spoon full of peanut butter and I want some candy corn. I feel jiggly.

5. Love makes you do stupid things. Not that I would know. Okay, maybe just a little.

6. I don’t have one single blank spot in my day planner for about the next three weeks. I think I’ll write a list about that next. Wait…

7. I love my dog. He loves me. All is well in our world.

8. My dad is building the altar for Communion for my brother’s wedding. It’s gorgeous. My dad is so talented.

9. I take my PRAXIS test on October 25. I probably won’t sleep a wink until it’s over. EEEEEEK.

10. I’m sitting here listening to my mom and dad talk about (and I quote) a lady bug that crawled in to the headphone jack of my dad’s phone and how it must have been in there for a really long time because when he shook the bug out and it hit the table, his legs fell off and the rest of his body turned to powder. I love the conversations that take place in my home.

11. I love looking at the history on my phone after my nephew has been playing with it. Today he deleted several apps and took a lot of self portraits. Those are my favorite.

Over and out,

Rach