Okay, as we all know, I’m about the most transparent person you’re gonna meet. Just throwing that out there. Today was a struggle for me. My thoughts were all over the place, my attitude wasn’t great, I let some insignificant things become bigger than they should have. Just one of those days. As I began to get ready for bed this evening, my mind was still racing in every direction possible, my heart was hurting over things that should not be an issue anymore, and I needed to get a grip. For real. I crawled in to bed, went to turn off my lamp, and there laid my bible. My first thought was, yeah right. My mind is too scattered to concentrate on reading anything, let alone the bible. But I picked it up anyway, hesitantly, and began to read Proverbs 3. I got to verse 24 and it said, ” ….when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” Well, if that doesn’t offer some bit of reassurance, I’m not sure anything can at this point. Proverbs is a great read in that it really doesn’t offer a guarantee against suffering but it does recommend ways that we can avoid bringing it on our ourselves. It reminds us that life isn’t always about a quick fix but reminds us to “bind love and faithfulness around our neck” so that those are in the forefront of our mind.
After I read the passage in Proverbs, I flipped to the back of my bible and looked up the word “heart.” The first thing that stuck out to me was 2 Chronicles 1, so I turned back to the book of 2 Chronicles and began to read. Honestly, God is so perfect in all His ways, and tonight His timing was so perfect in allowing me to find these verses. Around verse 7, it says that God appeared to King Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” Solomon’s request was simple. All he asked God for was wisdom and knowledge that he would lead God’s people in the right direction. There were no selfish requests or anything that would benefit him personally. All he wanted was guidance on how to lead God’s people. God then responded to King Solomon saying, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches, or honor, and because you have not asked for a long life but instead for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people, I will grant you this wisdom and knowledge AND I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU WEALTH, RICHES, AND HONOR, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.” Um, can I just pause for a second? What the heck was my malfunction today? During my prayer time earlier, I was asking God for things that aren’t necessarily wrong, but they are selfish requests. Okay, I’ll be honest. I was a little bit mad at God today. I don’t understand all that is going on around me and I am having a hard time being patient and in my selfishness, I began to ask God for things that, in the long run, don’t really matter for eternity. There’s a song called Clear the Stage by Jimmy Needham (listen to it!) that talks about making things in our life idols. My pastor has been talking about this for several weeks during his teachings on Sundays. When we allow things to take the lead on our list of priorities, we’ve got it all wrong. God has to be our number one. He can’t be on the back burner or our last resort. There are a few lines in the song that say, “anything I put before God, anything I want with all my heart, anything I can’t stop thinking of, anything I give all my love, is an idol.” Basically what it’s saying is if we allow anything to take center stage in our life and take the place of where Christ is supposed to be, it’s an idol. King Solomon had his priorities straight. His prayer request was that he would simply have the wisdom and knowledge to lead God’s people. And because of that, the Lord blessed him more than any other man has ever been blessed. If I will just learn to get MY priorities straight, stop worrying about whether or not my “Mr. Right” got run over by a bus, and will I ever blessed with my own children, etc, and begin to ask God to show me how I can be a better example of His love and grace and be a better christian, everything else will fall in to place.
God is so faithful. I had just spent the last hour crying, basically begging God to take this hurt away, wondering how I would ever turn my mind off tonight, and I opened my bible to this encouragement.And talk about perfect timing, I got a phone call from one of my best friends right in the middle of all this, just wanting to check on me. Great is His faithfulness. Every morning brings new mercies. “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings are mine with ten thousand beside.”
Goodnight, Friends. Thanks for allowing me to be transparent and loving me despite all my imperfections!