Desires Of The Heart

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Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I’ve read this verse a thousand times in my lifetime. I’ve heard it in church, I’ve heard my mother tell it to me, I’ve got it underlined in my bible, even. I’ve often wondered, though, what it truly means to delight myself in the Lord. I think that when I find myself in a position of complete and total dependence on Him, I’m delighting in the promise that He truly is all I need. When I’m living a life that is pleasing to Him, I’ve found my delight, or my happiness, in who He is. The verse goes on to say that when we delight in Him, when we trust in Him, when we give all our worries and anxieties to Him and trust that He is big enough to handle every situation, He will in turn give us the desires of our heart. I think a lot of times we interpret this as “I’m going to do everything I think God wants me to do and then he’ll give me whatever I want or ask for.” I firmly believe that the Lord sees our heart and puts desires within us that are part of who we are. For instance, I love the country. I will never live in a city. I want a house that has a driveway a mile long and no neighbors. I want to live on land and have a little garden and I want to marry a man that has hard working hands and who will help me raise our babies with the mentality that nothing comes free. You have to work hard to be successful. I want a porch swing and a big yard for my babies to play in. And I want a dog that is just as much a part of our family as the babies I carry in my womb. I want a man that will sit on the porch with me in the evening after supper, sipping on sweet tea, and a man who will play catch with our babies in the yard. I could go on and on….but you see, these are all desires that God himself planted in my heart from the time I was a little girl. I spent my early twenties doing everything BUT delighting myself in the Lord and because of that, the desires of my heart, the longing in my heart, that emptiness, was never fulfilled. No matter how hard I searched and tried to make it work, at the end of the day, my heart still felt like a bottomless pit. Thank God for second chances, though. Like I said before, I don’t think God will always give us everything we want because He does know best. I wanted so badly to make something work that, looking back now, I know would’ve ended in even more heartache and sadness. I thought it was a desire of my heart but He knew better. His plans are greater. When we truly begin to rely on Him, He births desires in our heart, like the ones I mentioned before, and it’s in moments that I find myself totally dependent on Him that he begins to reveal his plans for my life. It’s not always in the way I thought it would be or how I expected it to come about, but His ways are far beyond my comprehension and imagination. There are days that sadness begins to take over and my thoughts are so consumed with life prior, but in those moments, I find peace knowing He will honor my obedience to Him and one of these days, all those desires I just wrote about will be more than desires. They’ll be my reality. Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to plant those desires in my heart and to grant them to me as well.

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