Currently, I am sitting at gate 82 in the Kansas City International Airport (thats a lot of personal information. So much for lying low.), two hours early for my flight because, as we all know, I’m early to everything. You see, I was paranoid this morning that if I didn’t leave five hours early for a three hour drive, I’d somehow end up taking a wrong exit and not realize I’d done so until it was too late and then I’d find myself driving through Kansas or South Dakota. Or Iowa. I’ve never been great with geography, but I can make a mean lasagna so it all evens out. Anyway, my head is pounding. There are two kids sitting rather close to me that are fighting over their mom’s iPhone. She’s reading Fifty Shades of Gray and is completely oblivious to the rest of the world. There’s an infant across the way from me screaming and I wish I had the excuse of being a four month old so I could throw a fit, too. Seriously people, they need to come up with an airline that is for parents and children 18 and under only. Hmmm, I may be on to something.
Oh yeah, who’s the idiot who forgot their headphones? That’d be me. I need coffee. I need a nap. I need a foot rub and a back massage. I need some Advil and I need my headphones to suddenly appear on my lap. I’m awful needy today. Did you know it’s costing me $22/day to park my car at this airport? I’ll be parked for four days. You do the math.
Here are my current thoughts:
I still like the tattoo on my ankle.
I hope it’s not hot in Baltimore.
I’m going to my first pro baseball game on Friday. I don’t have a clue who either of the teams are.
I need coffee, but we already know this.
If anyone is still reading this, they were more bored than me when they started so I guess I shouldn’t complain.
I haven’t had soda in 33 days.
I’ve lost ten pounds.
I love the Olympics. My favorite event is synchronized diving but my heart stops momentarily every time they dive because I just know they’re gonna hit their head on the diving board.
I also love swimming. Mainly because Ryan Lochte is fun to look at. I mean, he’s fun to watch swim.
I love gymnastics, too.
My hair is getting long again.
I’m not sure I love British accents.
There’s a man trying to converse with me, AS I SIT HERE TYPING, and I haven’t looked up yet because what if we make eye contact? Then I’m obligated to acknowledge the fact he’s talking to me. Is that bad? Listen, I don’t want to socialize right now, and especially not with a dude that’s making cat noises.
My friend, Jose Gonzalez, is an ER doctor in South Carolina. He’s married to my best friend, Jess. His appendix perforated on Tuesday and he had to have emergency surgery and while Jess was on her way to the hospital, she got in a wreck and totaled her vehicle.She’s several months pregnant, by the way. She’s ok, just very shaken up, understandably. Um, keep them in your thoughts!!
I just looked up at the screen in front of me and realized I may be at the wrong gate. My heart just started racing and my palms are starting to sweat. See you guys, this is why I leave five hours early.
Off to find the right gate,