I spent a couple hours at my BABY brother’s house tonight. Whhhhhaaaaaah. I can’t believe he lives on his own and in just three months, give or take, he’ll be married to a beautiful girl that I just love. She fits in so well with our family. I got lucky when it comes to sister-in-laws. Anyway, on my drive home from his house tonight, I started thinking about different memories I have with him from when we were younger. Nathan is five years younger than me, so most of the memories I have are of me bossing him around and making him be my pretend child while I played the mother role during countless hours of “house.” I remember my mom would mow the yard and I’d make Nathan go around and scoop up the mowed grass and bring it to my make believe kitchen in the back yard and that grass would then become soup for his supper. And he was always such a great sport, letting me boss him around. I also remember when he first came home from the hospital after being born. He must’ve only been a week or so old and he was laying in his bassinet when the doorbell rang. My mom told my middle brother and me not to mess with Nathan while she went to get the door. Well, you know me, I just HAD to pick him up….. so I wrapped my little (almost) five year old arms around him and tried to pick him up but the brat started crying and had to blow my cover. Thanks for nothing, Nathan!!! All your crying got me was a spankin’ and sent to my room. Now that I think about it, you owed me all those countless hours of playing house. That’s why you had to be my pretend child and eat grass soup for supper! 🙂 He got smarter the older he got, though, and began to gravitate towards my middle brother and that’s when they decided to plot against me and bit the toes and fingers off all of my barbies. There really never was a dull moment while growing up in our house. Maybe one of these days I’ll devote an entire blog to childhood memories.
Moving right along (Has anyone else noticed how I kind of go off on these little rabbit trails from time to time? And it takes like four or five paragraphs for me to find my way back. I’m gonna work on that. Next time. Maybe. No promises.). Like I was saying, I spent the evening with my baby brother and we had such great conversation. That’s what I love about both my brothers. The older we get, the closer we become. They are two of my best friends. For being five years younger than me, Nathan really has a lot of wisdom inside of him and listening to him share his heart with me tonight just made me happy. Nathan and I are a lot alike when it comes to wearing our heart on our sleeve. Jeffery holds things in, he’s very private. He had one friend all throughout school and that’s how he wanted it to be. Nathan and I are the most talkative, the most outgoing, never met a stranger, kind of people. And we most definitely wear our heart on our sleeve and struggle with letting our emotions control our behavior and mood, etc. Tonight I was talking to him about something that was on my mind, something that was bothering me, and to be honest, I was just bummed out when I got to his house. Then we started talking and he reminded me of something that he had dealt with close to a year ago. For Nathan, it really was one of the hardest, if not THE hardest things he’d walked through, I remember hurting for him and seeing how broken he was made me want to go back to our childhood days when our only concerns were fighting over who got to ride the Big Wheel down the giant hill in our backyard. I couldn’t take his hurt away, though, and he will tell you now, that looking back, he realizes that season of his life was a blessing. I’ve seen a significant growth in my baby brother since then. He didn’t allow the pain of the situation to overtake him. He was telling me tonight that he had to literally train himself to stop what he was doing every single time he started to feel sad or overwhelmed with what was going on around him and he had to turn that sadness in to thankfulness and remember that there’s never a rainbow without first having rain. I sat there, tears just flowing down my cheeks cause, as we’ve established, I’m a crier. But to hear him telling me all these things and knowing how much he hurt during that time, and to see how far he’s come gave me such a sense of peace. He could’ve allowed the pain to control him and I can bet you almost a year later, the outcome would’ve been a lot different. I respect him so much for that. The obstacles in our life are what develop us. Every moment we struggle, we are being developed. Those obstacles are what teach us persistence, determination, and stamina. But it’s up to us whether or not we allow them to develop us. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Don’t wallow in what-ifs. Don’t wallow in whatever your obstacle is. I told Nathan tonight that I’m so afraid to let go. That fear is an obstacle in my life and I can choose to be the victim of fear or I can learn to FACE that fear head on and show it who’s boss.
My brothers really are the best. Heck, they’ve put up with me their entire life. There should be some kind of award for that. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be their sister. And thank you for the lessons you are teaching me.
Goodnight from the Mother Hen,