Wonderful, glorious things are in store for you, if only you will believe, obey, and endure. ~Thomas S. Monson
I will give one hundred dollars to the first person who can tell me how many times a day I say something along the lines of “(Child’s Name Here), don’t climb the fence” or “(Child’s Name Here), don’t eat the rocks.” Seriously, I am tempted to make a recording of myself saying these things and blasting it over a megaphone on the playground every day because I must say it four thousand times a day. I know that when I tell my kiddos not to do these things they think I’m being a buzz kill because they’re just trying to have fun. What they don’t realize is that I tell them not to do these things because I have their best interest and their safety in mind. If I turned my head the other direction when I saw one of them climbing the fence and they fell and broke their arm, I would be the one at fault because I had ignored something that could potentially hurt them. On the other end of the spectrum, though, it is their responsibility to first of all believe (trust) me, then obey what I’ve told them to do, and endure, or continue to have fun and enjoy their time on the playground even though I told them to stop being monkeys on the fence and eating rocks because it will spoil their lunch.
I’m a sucker for quotes. I’ve got quotes written all over my day planner, on sticky notes on my mirror, and on the note pad in my phone. I refer back to them often and use them as little motivators throughout my day to keep me focused and on track. One of my favorite quotes is this: Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen. That’s a great attitude to have and when I see that on my mirror every morning, it reminds me to have that kind of outlook on life. My aunt Roxanne loved quotes, as well. Maybe that’s where I got it from. Anyway, all of that to say that the quote that I started this blog with today really spoke to me. I used my preschoolers as an example of how the quote could be literally applied to life. After I read the quote a couple times, I began to see how I need to apply it to my own life. The last few days have been a huge struggle for me. I’m talking, ginormous. I’m not sure how honest a person is supposed to be on these blog things, but what the heck, we’re all friends here, right? My entire life, I have let the wrong things define who I am and I’ve found my self worth in how well a relationship was going or how a man treated me. And for anyone who knows my track record, you know I haven’t been the greatest at picking men who made me feel like more than a slave. I know slave could be defined many different ways here, so trust me when I say that my life was every definition of the word. I’m not looking for sympathy in this, I’m just wanting to give a picture of why I’ve done some of the things that I’ve done. When you are in such bondage, you really do feel worthless. And you feel helpless, too. When I look back, I can’t believe I ever lowered myself to allowing a person to treat me this way. When I left in October of 2011, that was it for me. I really made a clean break, physically speaking, but I continued to let this person enslave me emotionally. In the midst of all this (several months after I left), I met a person that really changed my mentality on what I should let define me and this person showed me that my self worth came from what my Creator thinks of me, not from how a man or any person treated me. Through all of this, though, I still struggled with letting my former life play a role in my emotional state, and this put a rather large damper on the new relationship that had began to develop. I knew that I needed to walk away from it but I didn’t want to. Why on God’s green earth should I have to walk away from something that had taught me so much, something that had opened my eyes to a whole new world, something that had made me feel like a human being again?? Why? I really didn’t get it. And the past few days I’ve struggled with it so much. I’ve wanted to pull my hair out because I just don’t get it. Talk about a buzz kill. But I know it’s just like when I tell my preschoolers they can’t do something, it’s because I have their best interest in mind. When I felt that tug in my heart to walk away from something that I thought was great, I knew that I had to believe that it was in my best interest, I had to obey it, and I have to endure. It’s been hard every second of every day for the last few weeks, but just like the quote says, wonderful and glorious things await me. I just have to believe, obey, and endure. But gosh, it’s hard some days.
I’m Gonna Keep On Truckin’,