You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! ~Psalm 139:15-17
These verses mean two things to me when I read them: 1.) God took his time preparing me in my mother’s womb. It says I was woven together, not just thrown together at the last second. He watched over me while I was being created. Every detail, from my curly, sometimes out of control hair, to my pinky toe that doesn’t have a toenail, He designed that. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that sometimes. The fact that someone, and not just someone, but the Creator of the universe took time to create me, too, is such an overwhelming thought. I didn’t have to be born. There are plenty of people in this world. Isn’t the number up to like seven billion or some astronomical number like that now? Trust me, I didn’t have to be placed on Earth. But the fact is, I was. And for a reason. Which leads me to number two. 2.) This verse says that before I was even born, EVERY day of my life was recorded. Every moment was laid out. I have this fear at times (well quite a bit if we’re being honest, here) of what the future holds. I worry, I wonder, I stress, I over analyze. When I’m having people over for supper, I will set the table at noon just to make sure that it’s ready by 6:00 PM. I don’t want to take the chance of unforeseen problems getting in the way of MY plans. And that right there is no way to live life. I have such a hard time with trusting that what God planned for my life WAAAAAAY before I was even born will work out exactly when and how it’s supposed to. He said it Himself in Jeremiah–“I know the plans I have for you.” I get so caught up in the “what ifs” that I overlook the simplicity of just trusting. It’s easy to plan. It’s easy to say that things are going to work out a certain way. But trusting that they may NOT work out as you planned and being okay with knowing that God is in control of the situation is way easier said than done. I’m far from being at a place in life where I don’t go in to panic mode when my daily events don’t match up with my day planner or when a relationship doesn’t go as planned or when I don’t know how a situation will turn out. But it’s in moments like these that I can look back at these verses and remember that yes, God knew me before I was born, all my quirky traits and my personality. He knows what each and every day of my life holds. And falling back on the promise that he has a plan for me is a beautiful feeling.